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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son



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Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do begins to annoy you. I Hate when My Parents Ask Who Im Texting. Don't PLAY With Me ! Coz I know I Can PLAY Better Than You Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why doesn`t glue stick to its bottle? Why do you still call it a building when its already built? If you aren`t suppose to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? funny world. Math is the only place where I hear someone doing ridiculous things. FOR EXAMPLE, "John has 30 chocolate bars, he eats 23, what does he have now?" DIABETES?? MAYBE???!!! Dear Children, When you look under your bed, what exactly are you planning to do when you find me? Sincerely, The Monster. The right way to kiss a girl ♥ Push her up against the wall Hold her hands up with yours Feel Her breathing pattern Kiss her Like You always Meant it ♥ You wanna no why i fell for you? because i love you. You made me happy. You were the first one to make me feel like i was special. You made me laugh when i just wanted to cry. You fixed my broken heart. You looked at me like i was the only one. The person who really loves you see what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, and how hard you are to handle. But still wants you in their life. Boy: can i touch your software? Girl: show me first your hardware Boy: can i install it in your system? Girl: OK! if you cover it with anti-virus first!!

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  • Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is… i love you. I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I love the sound of your laugh, i love the way you get mad, i love the way i dont understand you at all. I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I love how when you touch me I get weak, thats my problem...
  • In every group of drunken friends, There`s the one who turns into a major flirt, The sloppy pissed drunk, The one who takes randum walks to no where alone drunk, The "i love you" drunk and the one who doesnt even get drunk and has to mind everyone else..
  • Parent: We need to talk..... You: *OMG they found out about the alcohol stash under my bed, OMG someone told them about last night, OMG they no I"m not a virgin, OMG they"ll know i didnt reaaly go to my friends house the other night, OMG if my sister told on me i swer... OMG i am so freeking dead!!!!!!!...* Parent: Stop leaving all the lights on You: *phew!*
  • Dear daddy, no matter where i go in life, who i get married to, how much time i spend with guys, how much i love my boyfriend, how much i talk about my boyfriend, you`ll always b my number one man. Sincerely, your little girl.
  • The person who really loves you see what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, and how hard you are to handle. But still wants you in their life.
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