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She had "GUESS" Printed on her T-Shirt. I guessed and she slapped me. I said, "Must be 36".




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Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do begins to annoy you. I Hate when My Parents Ask Who Im Texting. Don't PLAY With Me ! Coz I know I Can PLAY Better Than You Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why doesn`t glue stick to its bottle? Why do you still call it a building when its already built? If you aren`t suppose to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? funny world. Math is the only place where I hear someone doing ridiculous things. FOR EXAMPLE, "John has 30 chocolate bars, he eats 23, what does he have now?" DIABETES?? MAYBE???!!! Dear Children, When you look under your bed, what exactly are you planning to do when you find me? Sincerely, The Monster. The right way to kiss a girl ♥ Push her up against the wall Hold her hands up with yours Feel Her breathing pattern Kiss her Like You always Meant it ♥ You wanna no why i fell for you? because i love you. You made me happy. You were the first one to make me feel like i was special. You made me laugh when i just wanted to cry. You fixed my broken heart. You looked at me like i was the only one. The person who really loves you see what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, and how hard you are to handle. But still wants you in their life. Boy: can i touch your software? Girl: show me first your hardware Boy: can i install it in your system? Girl: OK! if you cover it with anti-virus first!!

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  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son
  • best friends:
    (1)don`t care about sharing a soda
    (2)make jokes about each other and not care
    (3)back them up in a fight
    (4)tell each other things they`d never told anyone else
    (5)be lazy together
    (6)get in trouble together
    (7)have fun
  • In the end we only regret chances we didnt take.The relationships we were scared to have and the decisions we waited to long to make there comes a time in your life when you realise who matters, who doesnt, who never did and who always will.
  • Sorry Hun, but, unlike you, Im not the doorknob, where everyone gets a turn. Im more of a casino, where only the lucky ones, hit the Jackpot
  • 5 missed calls from your mate,
    you missed a good party last night.
    5 missed calls from your best friend,
    they want to hang out.
    5 missed calls from your girlfriend,
    she wants to talk
    .5 missed calls from your Mum, YOUR SCREWED!!!
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