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Mom: Where were you last night?
Son: Studying with my friends
. Mom: Don`t lie.
Son: Alright, I was at a stripper club.
Mom: DID YOU SEE ANYTHING THERE THAT YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE?!?!?
Son: yeh...I saw dad.



You May Also Like: Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why doesn`t glue stick to its bottle? Why do you still call it a building when its already built? If you aren`t suppose to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? funny world.

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Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do begins to annoy you. I Hate when My Parents Ask Who Im Texting. Don't PLAY With Me ! Coz I know I Can PLAY Better Than You Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why doesn`t glue stick to its bottle? Why do you still call it a building when its already built? If you aren`t suppose to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? funny world. Math is the only place where I hear someone doing ridiculous things. FOR EXAMPLE, "John has 30 chocolate bars, he eats 23, what does he have now?" DIABETES?? MAYBE???!!! Dear Children, When you look under your bed, what exactly are you planning to do when you find me? Sincerely, The Monster. The right way to kiss a girl ♥ Push her up against the wall Hold her hands up with yours Feel Her breathing pattern Kiss her Like You always Meant it ♥ You wanna no why i fell for you? because i love you. You made me happy. You were the first one to make me feel like i was special. You made me laugh when i just wanted to cry. You fixed my broken heart. You looked at me like i was the only one. The person who really loves you see what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, and how hard you are to handle. But still wants you in their life. Boy: can i touch your software? Girl: show me first your hardware Boy: can i install it in your system? Girl: OK! if you cover it with anti-virus first!!

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  • TODAY, I saw a cute little six or seven year old girl wearing Hannah Montana socks. I asked her if she liked Hannah Montana. She said no; she liked to wear these socks, because she got to step on Miley Cyrus every time she walked. I love this kid.
  • I hate that you can ruin my entire day. & I hate that somehow 90% of the time you`re the only one that can make it better. I hate that I can`t get you outta my head. I hate that I can`t hate you & most importantly .. I hate that I`m in love with you
  • Teacher: John, why are you so late ? John: I was throwing stones into the river. Teacher:Okaay, well take your seat. Teacher:Bob, why are you also late ? Bob: i was also throwing stones into the river. Teacher: gr, well, sit down. New Boy walks in ; Teacher: oh so you're our new student. whats your name? and why are you all wet? New boy: My name is Stones. Teacher: oh.. LIKE IF YOU GET IT.
  • Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days to many stupid security cameras
  • Math is the only place where I hear someone doing ridiculous things. FOR EXAMPLE, "John has 30 chocolate bars, he eats 23, what does he have now?" DIABETES?? MAYBE???!!!
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